Before I have to duck the first verbal tomato from people having read the title of this post let me be clear - I've had as many (and in all likelihood, many more) problems with cell phone carriers through the years than pretty much anyone else can claim.  Since cell phones became commercially available in the U.S. I've lived in Dallas, Chicago, Los Angeles (twice), San Francisco and Atlanta and have traveled pretty much everywhere else.  Plus, I've also lived in Germany, Australia and spent plenty of time in France, England, Japan and Mexico along the way - and have used cell phones everywhere. 

To put a fine point on it, I've had cell phones since they were "car phones" or "mobile phones" (my first "car phone" cost >$3000) and have owned and used more than 30 different portables.  In short, I've got the experience on which to base plenty of complaints.  But it's pretty rare that I do complain about prices or coverage (although I've torn out plenty of hair over some irrefutably poor customer service) - and I think that's because I know a little more about it than the average customer.  

So I have to ask myself every now and then - are the cell phone carriers as bad as everyone says they are?  

I should preface my remarks here by giving you my standard response to the question I am invariably asked at social gatherings once people find out about my career.  They ask, "Which cell phone carrier is the best for me?"  My reply?  "They all stink, just in different places."  I say this because I don't want readers to think that I'm covertly a cell phone carrier sympathizer - far from it.  But I do think that if people understood more about what carriers have to do to make their systems work on a daily basis they'd be a little more understanding. And the fact is that that's true - if AT&T works at your house and Verizon and Sprint don't, in your opinion Verizon and Sprint stink.  The most important factor in choosing any cell phone, I tell people, is to find one that works at your home and office.  The phrase "your mileage may vary" is important here because there are areas that are known to be "AT&T" areas or "Verizon" areas (I've never heard of a "Sprint" area, frankly) but it really does differ by geography. 

But do they really all just stink?  Not so much.   

Let's start with this: Any business that serves between 40-50 million people on a daily basis is going to hear some gripes.  Airlines, anyone?  How about the government?  Your local mass transit system?  Or even McDonald's - have you ever checked out the web sites dedicated to complaining about them (or Sears, or WalMart or others)? 

The fact is that our cell phones hold a unique place in our daily lives - we are connected to them literally and figuratively.  You'd sooner forget your wallet or keys than your phone.  It lets you play golf in the afternoon, bike in the morning, travel anywhere, work at odd hours or different time zones all while allowing you to stay connected to work, friends and family.  It takes your photos, swaps love text messages, sends and receives email, holds your calendar, gives you an address book, provides movie times, gets dictionary definitions and a million other things... all in a very personalized package that's always in your pocket or purse.  Not sometimes - always. 

But it's a challenge to run these businesses and if you knew why you'd probably be a little less annoyed when your next call is dropped.  Think about this:

• Nobody wants a cell tower in their back yard but everyone wants coverage in their driveway.  The industry calls it the "NIMBY" (Not In My Back Yard) syndrome.
  
• It can take years of costly processes to get approval for a cell site, all the while trying to placate the neighborhood about various health or aesthetic concerns while hearing the complaints of the people who are blocking the site because their calls are getting dropped.
• Once a site is approved it can take 2-3 years to actually build it and get it running.
• It can cost anywhere between $500,000-$1,000,000 or more PER SITE and carriers have hundreds, sometimes thousands of them, in metropolitan areas.  Do the math - this isn't a cheap business.
• The cost to obtain a new "subscriber" (for the life of me I don't understand why the industry doesn't just call me a "customer"... they don't call it "subscriber service" when I call in to their office) can be as much as $800 for the carrier when you factor in the marketing, additional personnel, subsidization of the phone, etc.  It's no wonder they want to lock you in for a couple of years - they don't start making money on you until you are well into your second year of service with them.
  
• The manufacturers are constantly battling with the carriers for control of the individual user - carriers say that they provide the service and billing so therefore should be in control of the user experience; manufacturers say that it's the product (think iPhone, Blackberry, Chocolate, RAZR, etc.) that prompts people to go to a certain carrier so they should be the ones in control of the customers.  It's a constant tug-of-war that delays progress, costs millions and alienates the one group that should be the primary concern of both - the customer. 
  
• The billing systems for cellular service are more complex than airlines.  Now, having said that, I believe that this is their own fault for having a bzillion different plans, but there's also the issue of 50 different state tax bases, federal charges that have to be calculated at different rates for different plans, etc.  It's a nightmare.  (The carriers could resolve a lot of this themselves by having simplified plans, but having tried them in the past they all insist that prospective customers want competitive plans and thus are always jockeying against their competition.)
• The regulatory morass we call Washington DC.  There's the FCC, for one thing - an archaic, overreaching and near-dictatorial group of appointed bureaucrats who've never spent a minute running a wireless business.  The arbitrary and sometimes capricious regulations they impose can make life difficult for the carriers.  
  
• The technical issues of people driving at 60 MPH and wanting calls to continue uninterrupted for an hour or more through urban, desert, hilly, flat, crowded, empty and inhospitable terrain.  You think this is easy?  You should sit in on a site planning session - it can be more contentious than a presidential debate. 
  
• Complaints about cost.  Even though cellular service in the U.S. is less expensive than virtually anywhere else, and includes free long distance and features that we'd been happily paying for through our landline carriers for years (call waiting, caller ID, voicemail, etc.), we still complain.  Well, I do, anyway.  I've got five lines on my plan and it's $200/month.  Doing the math, though, is that so bad?  Is $40/week/phone that much to pay for virtually unlimited talking, long distance, reachability, security and convenience?  If it is, there are alternatives... either don't get a phone or get a pager (don't laugh - Google "paging service" and hundreds of listings come up because people still buy them).  

To reiterate, though, I'm the first one to question a charge on my bill, call to complain about poor coverage in my neighborhood or wish that the prices were lower.  I might be a little more demanding than others because I actually know what the technology is capable of doing, but I'm probably a little more patient, too. 

 

So before you complain the next time, or threaten to toss your phone out the window, think about the technology, expense, regulatory hurdles and daily abuse that carriers endure.  Sure, they can improve in a lot of ways - more compatible technology, open systems that allow a broader choice of phones, less onerous termination contracts, more knowledgeable customer service and a lot more.  But overall, considering what your phone does every day for less than the cost of a regular coffee at Starbucks, it's pretty amazing stuff.